Crazy texts

For some reason, I start sending crazy texts to my friend, Patty, when I am bored. In a way, it gets my creative motor running. And in another way, I'm sure I'm being a pain in the ass. I don't just send one text and I'm done. Oh no. I send my crazy texts 1 to 2 sentences at a time. So the receiver of my texts get ding after ding after ding. It's like those activities where you go around the room, each saying one word to create a funny and weird story. Except, this is just me. Does anyone else send crazy texts?

Here's my favorite crazy text story...(each line is a new text)

So I'm getting engaged!! 
I know it's quick & all...but I think we match!!
Not sure if we should tell our kids we met from me flashing my boobie at a bar. 
Then we are moving to Honduras...
Cuz why not?!
We're gonna sign up to move to Mars & start a colony of humans there.
Maybe I can be a teacher - ESL for Martians!!
~The next day~
I did it...finally!
I joined a temple & converted! I'm a Jew!
Mazeltov to me!
Now we can get married.
~The next day~
So we are getting married at Temple Beth el AME Zionic Episcostal Bapthurian Center for Shamanistic Healing of Latter Day Shenanigans.
On the summer solstice
Clothing optional

Another favorite text story...(All because my friend, Patty wouldn't say fuck when I visited her! She's a good Southern lady - she says!)

I saw a (an?) UFO last night!!
It was soooooo close!
I was sitting out on the balcony upstairs (I guess that's redundant...of course the balcony is upstairs, it's a balcony!)...
So I decided to climb onto the flat part of the roof for a better look. (I always climb out onto that part of the roof...it's my hang out spot!)
I used glow-in-the-dark, neon green & orange spray paint & wrote across the roof, "Please take me with you!! 
 + = "
(Which everyone knows is the universal sign for 'beam me up, I'm awesome!')
(They might not read English, you know. I mean, who am I to assume they can read English! Why be so narcissistic. Anyway, emojis are a universal language.)
Amazingly, a beam of light shone down on me & in an instant, I was aboard their ship!
The one who appeared to be a leader spoke to me! He said, "We've been looking for you! But you move around more than a snarkle in a bijorken!" (Which must have been funny cuz they all laughed heartily.)(Oh, and they weren't speaking English, but I somehow understood their language!)
He continued, "We dropped you off here on earth nearly 40 years ago & we are to bring you back to our home planet where you are our princess & where we will do nothing but pleasure you! But did you complete your task?"
"What task??" I asked, totally confused, yet having some sort of deja vu & a sense of home with them.
"You know...the task of the recording of Patty saying 'fuck'! Please do not disappoint us by saying you did not complete your mission!"
I bowed my head & told them I had failed.
They looked at each other sadly, shook their heads (they each had two, so it was weird) and said they'll be back for me in another 40 years. And poof, I was back on my roof and watched as they pulled a 'u-ey' & jumped into hyperspace.
Sigh...such is my life.